On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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