did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
