am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
