Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We got so high we made milksteak
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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