I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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