He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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