Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
