I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
