Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
