Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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