I want to stick my p in your. b.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize