were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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