Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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