I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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