omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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