I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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