I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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