I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Randomize
