apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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