we're blogging at a bar
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
