I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
