you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
