so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
