I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
