Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
