i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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