I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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