best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I am naked and annoyed.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
