I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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