dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize