Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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