Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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