I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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