The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
