My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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