Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is Oprah even human
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize