you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
