He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
