The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
