The maid of honor just puked.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
