My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
