So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
