I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize