You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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