Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
