it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
