I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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