you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
