You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
