Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
