Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
