she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
