This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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