it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
