we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
