I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
