We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
