I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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