it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize