she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
