Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
