somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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