Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
where are my eyebrows?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
