If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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