hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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