Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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