What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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