i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
