The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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