there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
