So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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